Things That Are Bugging Me Now

Aaaaaaannnnnnddd, time once again for this.

* The guy quoted in the latest issue of California Home & Design about his oceanfront house: “I wasn’t even in the market for a home,” said Greg who was single at the time. “I had just renovated my penthouse and was happy with the results.”
* To quote the much-missed Chandler Muriel Bing: “My wallet’s too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!”
* My levels of guilt, which are reaching new and frightening dimensions. Latest trigger: NPR. When the NPR fundraising pitches come on, I am always driving, but then I forget to call and pledge once I’m off the road. Then I hear the pitch again, and the guilt rises. “Don’t you WANT to listen to our VERY VERY IMPORTANT STORIES, you freeloading jerk?” YES, YES, I really do. But do I remember to call once I’m off the road again? NO.
* My awkward social skills. The only non-family members I can converse with properly are Bodega Bliss and Stumbling Gracefully. Is it because I don’t work in an office? I feel like I miss out on social cues altogether and today at Jamba Juice I put in my order like a robot, with no inflection and I think the clerk thought I was AI. I can’t come up with any banter, even boring banter. It comes out like this: “Hello, man at counter. Sunny weather we are having or not? #jambajuiceisrad!”
* My realization that Zooey Deschanel is probably this neurotic too, but she is so charming. Maybe I need more Siri in my life.
* My realization watching Atonement: I will never write anything better than Briony’s play. Which she writes when she’s thirteen!
* Still David Guetta. Still “Sexy Chick.” Darcy STILL has that song in his head two and a half years later. I have even tried to play that Goyte earworm tune for him: no go.
* That really horrific looking movie adaptation of the book What to Expect When You Are Expecting. (Which, really? What’s next? Personal Finance for Dummies?) Tagline: “There’s No Time To Pull Out Now.” GROSS.

What’s bugging YOU now?

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11 Comments

Filed under Dumb

11 responses to “Things That Are Bugging Me Now

  1. SRB

    *Actually, it’s MS. Chanandeler Bong. Heh.

  2. I was just musing over my own social ineptitude a few days ago.

    What bugs me is people who lie to their lawyers.

  3. All I know is I saw that this post was filed under “Dumb” and started cracking up. Clearly you are funny, and who really needs to charm the Jamba Juice clerk anyway?

  4. Mel

    Oh dear, if you lose social skills once you leave the office, then I am definitely definitely in the AI zone.

    Cracking up about Zooey Deschanel. Every time I see that commercial, I turn to Josh and say in my most Zooey voice, “everyone loves a quirky girl.”

  5. I’m really bugged about the new surrogacy comedy the guy from Glee is developing. I know it will be awful, and it’s just too soon.

    And no, working in an office nets you zero social skills. Or maybe that’s just in my office because I work with incoherent engineers.

  6. Sometimes I say BIZARRE things to people at the register, and after I wonder why I said those things, and didn’t just stay quiet. Silence is golden. You probably seem super mysterious. ;)

  7. That tagline is horrible. Wow.
    It’s bugging me that I am totally listening to top 40 radio lately. And liking it. Seriously…what am I, 15?!?

  8. My social skills have gone down the toilet too. I need to get out more.
    I miss Chandler :(

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