Tag Archives: Per Petterson

“The Air Fell Empty”

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“…there was nothing we could do, and the air fell empty as it had been before we came…”

Per Petterson, Curse the River of Time

The above quotation describes a failed political demonstration, one last gasp after years of similar demonstrations have made no impact. When I read this, my chest felt tight. I worry that the air will always be empty when it comes to education about infertility, loss and adoption.

I understand this post may upset some or even many but after two years of plugging along trying to make a difference, trying to use words (my weapons of choice) to convince, persuade, create empathy and aid political action along with many others, I feel like very little has changed. Small victories yes (several thanks to our own Athena Keiko Zoll): the PETA protest, the New Hampshire bill not passing, the Ricki Lake rebuttal, the positive education I think Bill and Guiliana Rancic have done. But for each small tick in the box, there are many New York Times (our newspaper of record) articles marginalizing the suffering and focusing solely on the sensationalistic issues. Despite my series, I haven’t seen one sympathetic profile of just a woman or man going through infertility and what that it is like in any mainstream publication. Instead, we read this.

As ALI bloggers, we preach to the choir, and it is of comfort that there are others out there suffering too who can lift us up.

Yet for every blogger seeking comfort, at least 3,000 of them on Mel’s blogroll, there are literally millions more suffering in silence. We all know the numbers. I was once one.

This is going to be controversial, but I have to say that it seems the national institutions that are supposed to be helping are somewhat aloof, or maybe they are tied down with their own problems. Maybe the traditional media is drowning them with stories they are constantly responding to, but I have to say that other than pleas to call my local congresspeople (which I faithfully complete) I don’t feel a lot of momentum from them. There’s no electrifying force behind them, like, for example, the grassroots movement that got President Obama elected. Why? So many of us are passionate about educating others. I think if we could be mobilized, maybe we’d have a chance.

I don’t want the air to be empty. But sadly, I worry it is.

Infertility, by most accounts, is only going to affect more people as time moves on. Why do so few people seem to care? Why are our cries deafened by the night? Do you think there is anything we can do?

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