The wonderful Kathy over at Four of a Kind came up with a thoughtful and fascinating idea for a blog hop: “Time Warp Tuesdays”. “Time Warp Tuesdays” allow you to revisit an old blog post, reflect on it and decide whether your perspective has changed since writing the post.
This time, the theme is “Waiting”.
Kathy chose a provoking topic for her first hop. Waiting is a big theme for the ALI community. So much of our time is spent waiting for the next cycle, the next ultrasound, the next test, the next doctor’s appointment. It’s no wonder that Peggy Orenstein titled her memoir about her own journey with infertility “Waiting for Daisy”.
Once I started blogging, my own wait was over: I had just found out I had miscarried at eight weeks, and my twins (conceived after two and a half years of infertility) were almost two. But the two words I associate most with my own infertility journey are “waiting” and “hope”.
Here’s the post I chose: it’s about my Dad’s long wait to interview Barbra Streisand (that diva reputation is deserved), and my attempt to take on the Rachel Berry/Barbra Steisand school of thinking, specifically delineated in the song “Don’t Rain On My Parade”.
Don’t tell me not to fly, I simply got to
If someone takes a spill, it’s me and not you
Who told you you’re allowed to rain on my parade
I’ll march my band out, I’ll beat my drum
And if I’m fanned out, your turn at bat, sir
At least I didn’t fake it, hat, sir
I guess I didn’t make it
Here’s the clip of Lea Michele nailing that song. To the wall.
I was trying to gather the courage to create and post a video for Resolve’s National Infertility Awareness Week. I eventually did and posted it. It certainly didn’t set the world on fire, or win any awards. (In fact, it’s only ever been clicked on 55 times, so I guess I didn’t make it. But, at least I didn’t fake it.)
That song still is my marching orders. When I feel my feistiness falter or my energy flag, this song reminds me that what I DON’T do will have been perfect, but WAITING to take action prevents me, us all, from living, and living now.