Summer’s End

The Annual Family Lake Tahoe Photo

For the first time ever, I’ve come to this blog without a fully-formed Athena (TM: April) post. I always know how a post will begin, develop and end before I write it. Today, I don’t.

I’m in a strange period of transitions. The biggest is that the twins will be starting kindergarten next week. To have both of your children exiting early childhood and becoming school-aged is overwhelming. It’s the end of an era, definitively. There will be no more babies, no more toddlers, no baby brothers or sisters. Boom! My kids are school-aged. Fait accompli. It’s a bit bigger than I thought it would be. It’s filling every nook and cranny in my heart and a few times a day, I have to swallow lumps in my throat.

In order to stave off the inevitable, I am trying to chase the last days of summer, the twins in tow. We’ve gone to the park, local neighborhood haunts and our favorite restaurant. Every night, I’ve popped popcorn and we’ve all watched a Star Wars movie, the twins for the first time. We started with 4-6, and now are going backwards to 1-3. (Because the older ones are MUCH better, and Darcy and I wanted them to see those first.) To watch their excitement as the iconic Star Wars credits roll, it staves away the sadness of time passing. For a brief moment.

I’m feeling no longer young, but not old either. I feel, well, middle. It’s an odd place and it’s difficult to explain. Somehow, having younger children made me FEEL younger. Now that they are entering elementary school, I don’t seem like a young mother anymore. Even women who are older than me appear younger to me, because they have babies and toddlers. I know that makes no sense.

There are things to rejoice: I could not be more enthusiastic about the school they will attend. Back when I was a teenager, I babysat for a local family with the most wholesome and adorably nerdy boys. They loved astronomy, math and baseball, and they were sweet, nice kids. I dreamed of having children like those boys when I grew up. They attended a school that I mentally stored in my memory bank, for future dreams. When I met Darcy and learned he had attended the same K-8 school as those boys I babysat, it was a very positive check in his favor. I hoped my twins would attend this school, and when they were accepted this spring, I was so thrilled. The school emphasizes kindness and academic achievement equally, and just seems like a lovely, ideal environment for the twins. Fingers crossed.

There’s other stuff I can’t talk about now, more transitions, and I hate vagueblogging, but I definitely will share more when I can, and it’s all exciting stuff. And I know I owe you all a Project Dreamcatcher wrap-up. I’ve been so impressed with everyone who has participated in any way they could. It’s been deeply humbling to watch you all learn and make progress.

So that’s what’s up here. How are you all coping with the end of summer?