I’m back to using my iPad, as I’m on vacation. Forgive me for any typos, etc.
Thank you, all, for your respectful comments and discussions on my last post.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the birth plan topic. Something that has been echoing in my brain is this comment, from SRB:
“It’s important that we talk openly and without judgement about this. Wishing each other peace and fulfillment in our mothering will only serve to better us.”
That’s when I realized something: Holy Crap! Was my wedding day analogy like those awful, empty platitudes we all hear going through infertility? I think for the most part, the people we are hearing “just relax and it will happen” and “why don’t you just adopt?” They mean well. They cause harm but it’s (mostly) not because their intention was to hurt, but rather to soothe. Similarly, when I was trying to make women feel better who are hurting about their birth plans not turning out the way they had planned, was I minimizing their pain by saying it was “just one day?”
I’m so sorry if I made anyone feel that way. I remember how awful those comments about “just” made me feel.
I want to clarify for the record here that I truly support your choice, goals and dreams, whether it’s Josey’s upcoming home water birth (go get it, girl! :)) to the huge smile I had on my face when I read about Courtney and Belle’s C-sections that were so lovely and supportive. And I think E’s embrace of a flexible birth plan is a great choice for her: it shows a sense of self-awareness and capacity for her own personal growth that I always admire about her.
And for those who had a similar approach to me (seeing birth as a means to an end and a day to, well, survive) I’m glad (as always) to not be alone in my thinking and reasoning for my experience. Thank you for sharing your stories, and I’m so glad everything went so well for you!
Ladies: I’m rooting for you all the time, no matter the differences in choices or styles of, well, anything. All of you, not just the people I called out, but everyone in my extensive blog reading list of women parenting and not parenting, those in the trenches and beyond. You amaze and inspire me all the time. You make me think, you make me reflect and you make me (I hope) a better person.
Thanks for educating me.