Perfect Moment Monday: Embracing the Truth?

I’m starting to think that quite possibly the best trait to possess as a human being is not beauty or wit or talent of any kind but instead: resilience. I’m not a fan of that twerpy word, indicative of rubber bands and girls in galoshes jumping over muddy puddles. But what is life but a series of often ugly and uglier pools of ick and goop, with glimpses of grey-blue skies and rainbows periodically flashing amongst us to keep our spirits high? The great moments of joy and wonder are so often far and few between and how do we make them last or at least keep us from getting dragged back into the great muck of bitterness?

If it seems as if I am swimming in an overabundance of watery metaphors, well, it’s because our plumbing has failed us, again. Our basement was already completely ruined in February, in round one of our clogged arteries. Those arteries of our home were made of the cheap sub-standard scrap metal that became the pipes material of choice, during and then after WWII, until better legislation was enacted to protect hapless homeowners.

When I was growing up, I lived in an old Victorian house. It was filled with quirky details and beautiful craftsmanship but one thing that gracious old home did not possess was decent plumbing. Nor could my parents afford to replace and overhaul the pipes. So I took showers that did not have full power (and mostly took baths in our gorgeous claw foot tub: so charming!) and we all lived in fear of the shower’s thin stream of moisture completely conking out, throwing us into ruin, I was afraid?

Well, we have received the quote for the basement on Thursday and it would actually ruin us, financially, to pay the pipers and purveyers. So of course, we needed to have another plumbing crisis on top of all of this, so we can have a lovely view facing our own financial ruin.

I exaggerate. Sort of. I’m a writer. What does that mean, even? I called myself a writer on my new Twitter profile, I was even named a top Infertility writer by AllParenting last week. Being called a writer by someone else made me happy. Most significantly, I announced the news that I had been called a writer to my real Facebook friends and family. To a bunch of side-eyes and yawns, I am sure. But a few kind souls commented.

What creates resilience? Is it faith? Often, yes. I envy those who can embrace their beliefs in those lonely and awful and bone-weary moments. Is it a folly, a cock-eyed optimism that blinds people to the reality of the muck, the puddles, the deep ruts in the earth? For those lucky to be in the folly, the deep ruts filled with brown water somehow mirror the sky, so that when things are full of cannon fire and thunder crashing they can still see the sky, the clouds moving about, the jet streams from the airliners billowing curlicues so high above.

But for me, the thing that makes me resilient is seeking the truth. To shine a light on a truth, in the hopes that even one person would see how things really are.

Today, someone asked my daughter what she thought of the poorly prepared and undercooked chicken that had been served for dinner.

“It was…not so good,” she clearly stated. In that moment, I realized that she had inherited my husband’s gift for correctly seeing the way things are, with no filters. And I had hope that, like him, she will one day try to make the things that she sees are wrong, right.

And that, that was my perfect moment.

For more perfect moments, please go visit Lori here:



Filed under Perfect Moment

15 responses to “Perfect Moment Monday: Embracing the Truth?

  1. cw

    Congratulations on your award! Your daughter is gorgeous. Plumbing bils can be extortionate! I know a few good plumbers but they can’t make house calls to the states!

  2. Sorry about your plumbing and hope it comes right without financial ruin!
    I also think resilience, or survival is very important.
    Congratulations on your award! You deserve it.

  3. So very sorry about the plumbing and many congratulations on your well deserved award! You have an interesting take – linking resilience to seeking truth. For me being resilient is more about an inability to accept the alternative – being broken.

  4. I’m so glad you got recognised as a writer, congrats on your award! And more plumbing problems to deal with! not cool. Love that last paragraph about your daughter. Very sweet.

  5. Your daughter is so cute – and she looks just like you! I love her comment about the chicken, and I love the way you tied honesty about what’s wrong to a passion for making things right. That’s a wonderful goal to have for her.

  6. the practical side of me wonders: can the plumbing costs be added to your mortgage? that would relief the burden…

  7. I love this “It was…not so good,”. Oh the honesty in children.

    Congrats on the award.

    Hoping the plumbing situation works out to some type of perfection.

  8. Have you read Terry Pratchett’s Wee Free Men? It’s sort of YA fantasy – so good. His main character, a young witch, has First Sight, like your daughter – seeing things as they really are, instead of how she’s “supposed” to see them.

    I love the image of the mud puddle reflecting the clear blue sky. Beautiful.

  9. I think too often we talk The Truth out of kids, in an effort to be polite or not make waves or not embarrass the grownups (conceding that utter honesty does need to be balanced with tact sometimes). So kudos to you for encouraging your daughter to say what she knows is true.

    I wonder why we are so tentative about calling ourselves writers? I still am not sure I’ve “earned” that title, though clearly I write. And I most definitely do see you as a writer.

    Boo on your plumbing problems.

  10. I am so sorry about the plumbing issues. I hope it can be fixed without your financial ruin :-/ Resilience. I’ve got to think there’s got to be a little bit of hope at the root of resilience. Maybe a dash of naivete. Please let your daughter keep speaking the truth; heaven knows we need more truth tellers out there.

  11. “But for me, the thing that makes me resilient is seeking the truth. To shine a light on a truth, in the hopes that even one person would see how things really are.”

    I really appreciate your perspective here. I agree that resilience and honesty are two very important traits that a person can possess/cultivate.

    I am also very sorry to hear about your latest plumbing problems. I know first hand how much that sucks.

    Of course you are a writer and I think you really believe that too. It is so very cool though when someone else recognizes that.

    Kudos on being named to that best infertility bloggers list! I definitely think it is a well deserved honor for you. I feel honored to be in your company on that list.

  12. This is why we did not buy an old house. B had a house built in 1925 and had all sorts of plumbing issues – this was prior to meeting me. He was over it by the time he moved in with me and then when we bought a house together. Oh, how I do wish, though, to have an old house with character. If I wasn’t afraid of plumbing and HVAC issues, I’d be in an old house with real features 🙂

    Your daughter is beautiful – and wise. I should rephrase that. Your daughter is 1) wise and 2) beautiful 😉

  13. Resilience as truth-telling … I like that idea. To be able to ignore the naysayers, to come back from the suck of self-defeatism … and say what really IS. I think you do this, too, by the way. Your daughter doesn’t just take after your husband.

    Congrats, again, on the award … which is, in its own way, about resilience, and the survival of what’s real and true.

    (Sorry to hear about the basement … and hoping that there’s a better second opinion out there somewhere.)

  14. I love your daughter’s candidness. And, congrats again on the recognition/award/

  15. Belated congratulations on the award! (Too bad there wasn’t money attached to foot the bill for your plumbing problems….) We’ve had leaks in the basement walls… dh just doesn’t want to deal with it & it drives me nuts sometimes. :p

    Your daughter is adorable.

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