Treading Water

We live in a culture that venerates self-help, self-improvement and making your life the MOST it can be.

Right now I’m in a phase where I am barely keeping my head above water, much less improving myself. My daughter has been pretty ill, and I’ve been back and forth to the doctor’s office a lot. I’m spending most of my time getting her to get her blood drawn, to take various medications, getting her to eat and drink and then, the worry. I’m trying to manage the worry. I’m still blogging because it’s the only time I can take a breath and it’s necessary. Just last week, Darcy and I actually managed to see a movie, Moonrise Kingdom, which was brilliant. As I ate my stealth burrito and watched art, I felt alive again. That seems a million years ago.

I am treading water, again. I have a virus too, but soldiering on is the only alternative. The worry strips me of my lifeblood.

Some days, I can’t even imagine improving myself, only enduring what will come in the next minutes, days, hours.

Then the crisis passes.

Please let this crisis pass us by.

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19 Comments

Filed under Fear

19 responses to “Treading Water

  1. I will hold your daughter in my prayers. I won’t tell you not to worry, that would be silly, but breathe your love into her very breath.

  2. Thinking of you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help. Hugs and prayers coming your way.

  3. Thinking a lot about you … holding you and your daughter in my heart, and sending you both love and light. I hope that the storm is over quickly.

  4. Wordgirl

    I will be sending you both my fervent healing thoughts … I wish for you deep breaths and pockets of calm that become longer and longer until this crisis passes. Love to you and your little one. I very much understand that worry. Xoxo

  5. hoping this crisis passes and your little girl returns to her vibrant self again soon! and you too. lovely pic, btw.

  6. I hope you and your daughter both feel better soon. Thinking of you.

  7. Hope your daughter gets well soon. Please look after yourself and get better too. Sending prayers your way.

  8. I hope she gets well soon. Praying so hard this crisis does pass.

  9. Esperanza

    I think we all tread water a lot of the time. And I think we pay a lot of lip service to “bettering ourselves” when really we’re just trying to get by.

    I hope things start looking up for your and your daughter soon.

  10. I blame the nationwide drought for our associations and longing for water right now. Thinking of you and calling you back to shore.

  11. Love what Pam said. I’m with you. Warm thoughts and fervent hopes for your daughter to get better quickly, for worry to ease its stranglehold. Strength for the journey.

  12. Thinking of you & your little girl, and sending prayers & healing vibes your way.

  13. My thoughts are with you and your little girl. Hang in there. I have never been through something like this yet (Matthew is still quite young), so I can’t offer anything other than my thoughts and best wishes. No sage words, just positive energy your way!

  14. Sarah

    Praying for your little gal!

  15. TheKirCorner

    just thinking of you…so much. I have both of you in my heart and my prayers. xoxo

  16. Hope things get better for you and your daughter soon.

    And, it sounds to me that you are doing more than treading water — you are swimming out of some rough waters!

  17. I have to agree with eighteenyears, it sounds like you’re swimming like mad. No wonder you’re too tired for anything else. I hope your daughter is right as rain very soon.

  18. I am a little late to this, and I hope that the waves have started to calm and you are swimming to shore.

  19. I am also late, but have been in touch with you outside of your blog and you know that I am holding you, your daughter and your family close in my thoughts and prayers. I am abiding with you during this time and know you can and will get through this. One day, one hour, one step at a time. (((HUGS)))

    P.S. Two weeks from today I get to see you and give you a big hug in person! I so can’t wait! 🙂

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