“Having the Billionaire’s Baby”: A Book Review

I recently returned from a wonderful visit with my parents. We stayed in a lovely rental house on a lake.

My WiFi died, and I finished the book I had (“Bad Day for Sorry” by Sophie Littlefield: which was great fun) so I checked out the rental’s bookshelf. There were three choices:

The Bible and two Harlequin books:

The Rich Man’s Baby

I love that he’s wearing a tux while standing in front of a random house, probably photoshopped from a mid-range suburban development called “The Estates.” Because nothing says “rich man” like a tuxedo and a tract home?

And, Having the Billionaire’s Baby

I mean, go big, right? A mere “rich man” doesn’t tempt quite like a “billionaire” does.

When suffering from insomnia, I read and tweet, and so I declared my intention to read this on my dying phone with its weak 3G signal.

Kristin quickly responded:

Which, good point.

So I began reading. Quickly I could identify with the main character, a 22 year old woman who is about to disrupt the wedding of the man she thinks she’s in love with.

Turns out “Dirk” (heh) is her next door neighbor. She has loved him from afar since she was 12. BUT SHE HASN’T SPOKEN TO HIM IN YEARS. So, naturally, she decides to blow up his wedding by declaring her “love” for him.

As you do.

What an asshole.

Luckily, the “billionaire” has a sixth sense that Serena, our “heroine” is going to try some shenanigans (HOW? Not explained) so he decides to block her at her pew as she tries to rush to the front of the aisle.

Luckily, the near ruin of someone’s wedding by a practical stranger is played for laughs.

Serena and her billionaire (described as a “granite” like presence: no one brings teh sexy like a rock, right?) adjourn to outside the church to bond. The billionaire used to be the bride’s husband, but turns out he didn’t love her like she deserved to be loved. Soon their musing turns into hot attraction.

So much so that:

Maybe Harlequin novels contribute to many people’s ignorance about infertility because there are consequences to the one-night stand.

After this initial beginning, the book plays out exactly as you would imagine: Serena keeps her pregnancy from the billionaire, billionaire finds out and boy is HE pissed, then they fall in LUURVE. Because nothing brings random strangers together like a random pregnancy.

Also, the billionaire is 34. 34!! He’s no Mark Zuckerburg, either: he doesn’t seem to even own a mobile phone or a laptop or really use any technology at all.

All in all, I think this is maybe the definitive comment about “Billionaire’s Baby”, from The Adventures of Chicken and Ham:

@2manyfish2fry this book is like an unofficial autobiography of my life, except the complete opposite

What I WANT TO KNOW is what audience is this aimed at? Gold diggers who want to trap a billionaire with a love child? And I shudder to think that is a big demographic!!

WEIRDEST. BOOK. EVER.

Advertisements

18 Comments

Filed under Dumb, Infertility, WTF

18 responses to ““Having the Billionaire’s Baby”: A Book Review

  1. Esperanza

    OMG! Thank you for this. Just, thank you. I needed this SO BADLY today. How can I ever repay you!

  2. Julie Anita

    You know, me shaking with laughter in bed with a baby on either side is keeping said babies from napping right now. Dedicating all of my “DEAR G-D WHY WON’T THEY SLEEP” tweets for the rest of the night to YOU, my friend.

  3. Bwahahahahahahahahaa! 🙂 Fabulous.

  4. I can’t believe they still write stuff like this. (Wait a minute, they do — they just throw in some kinky sex & call it “Fifty Shades of Grey,” lol.) Love the hilarious random quotes!! — almost makes me want to sign on to Twitter, if this is what you’re posting. ; )

  5. Best Cliff Note version EVAH!!

  6. Yeah, I had a feeling that the fucknuttery would be worth the read from your early tweets.

  7. That book sounds ridiculous. I wonder if I can get that one on my Kindle for 0.99 cents?

  8. This is hilarious!

    loribeth-
    I am addicted to Fifty Shades. I can’t get enough of it. I’m not sorry.

  9. I think I saw that book at the book sale a few months ago. I think I even picked it up and read the back. Thanks for the review and for sparing me from having to read it!

  10. I was off twitter for a couple of days and I missed this?? So bizarre!

  11. LOL! Thanks for the giggles!

  12. Well you found it entertaining! Perhaps their market is those who think they are too good for the books but read them anyway to mock them. Because really, no one would read that seriously!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s