Photo copyrighted by Single Infertile Female
Single Infertile Female recently published a post which has generated a tremendous discussion and even personal fallout.
If you are unfamiliar with S.I.F., she’s a beautiful person (on the inside and outside) whose writing is always honest, sincere and from her heart.
Recently she posted about why pursuing IVF again is not for her, at least at this present time. She brings up the scary bugaboos of birth defects (specifically linked to progesterone) and generally worries about all sorts of things related to the science. If you are feeling raw or worried about your pregnancy, I would probably NOT recommend reading it.
Those fears lurk silently in the back of my brain. When I pursued IVF, I was informed of three risks: premature births, ovarian cancer (which science has not entirely proven: those who pursue fertility treatments already have ovarian problems and might be more susceptible to ovarian cancer) and multiple births.
I didn’t know of the risks linked to the prometrium I took, although there’a probably some paperwork somewhere that delineated them. My doctor was very transparent about everything.
I made peace with those risks and I had a lucky, lucky experience my third time around.
I know that many others did not.
Obviously, the scariest risks are those we don’t know about. We have no long-term studies about progesterone yet. The oldest IVF child is only in her 30s.
Here’s the thing: I think discussion and difference of opinion in our community is right. Healthy, as long as the discussion doesn’t tear us apart. I think S.I.F brings up valid concerns. In my mind, support is not just mindless nodding of heads about everything I say. My favorite bloggers often take me to task for things I do and say. Support is often trying to help someone figure things out. Gently. So I do not think S.I.F. should be ostracized for her post.
Obviously, we all run into the wrong kinds of reactions in the outside world, and I don’t want to bring that kind of energy into our community either.
Clearly, it’s complicated.
What does support in the ALI community look like in your mind?