Valentine’s Day, Ugh

I really didn’t think I would have anything to add to the common litany of complaints and descriptions used to characterize this invented holiday.

When I was single, I detested it.

My first Valentine’s Day with Darcy exploded in a nuclear bomb so huge I thought for sure that was the end. He informed me he was not ready to get married. I informed him of where the door was, because I was going to need to get married. At some stage.

We compromised that he KNEW I wanted to get married, and he would want to at some point in the future, too.

It was a very uncertain time.

Every Valentine’s Day after the first, I would get tense. Valentine’s Day was a reminder of the engagement stories and of our huge fight. I would usually simmer the whole meal, hoping against hope that maybe there might be a proposal? No? Then I’d usually explode over some little thing, like getting a cab instead of taking public transportation or something. It was pretty much the only time we would fight.

After we got married, the issue shifted. Darcy is excellent at commemorating special occasions. My mom said when he proposed it would be something completely insane and over the top, and it was. For my birthday, he has taken me to three star restaurants, Broadway shows (in the front row!), concerts, Paris and Nobu. (I know it’s a restaurant but it’s worth calling out the name.)

Er, I try. I did throw him a surprise birthday party at Trader Vic’s (a restaurant with a lot of family lore and ties) in London and invited friends from Hong Kong who he hadn’t seen in years. I pulled it off because he never even thought I would attempt such a thing. That was definitely my crowning achievement.

Anyway, when faced with such incredible planning and perfectionism, I tend to crumble and not do enough. Like, uh, today, when I went to CVS to get a card and the shelves were literally bare.

Anyway, if these posts by Rachel and Esperanza are anything to go by, I’m not alone with Valentine’s Day being a troublesome holiday.

So I want to devote this video to Rachel and Esperanza, and anyone who struggles with our great Hallmark invention. This movie was not good, but this scene rules.



Filed under Family

10 responses to “Valentine’s Day, Ugh

  1. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row

    Thank you! First of all, what an incredible incredible proposal. We fought the exact same fights before we got engaged (in fact, when he proposed, I was crying at a restaurant because I wasn’t engaged…lol…he threw the ring at me and said, “You ruin everything!” So romantic.)

    Secondly, I needed this video. XOXOXO

    • HEEEE!!!! OK, that made me laugh really hard. “You ruin everything!”

      I think the four of us need to hang out.

      • Rachel @ Eggs In A Row

        I KNOW we need to hang out!

        I handed him back the ring and told him he could propose when he was human again. He proposed the next night in a car, after making me listen to him talk for four hours about our future. LOL.

    • Oh my gosh, that is so funny! Our poor men have to put up with us crazies…. the Hub and I had probably 9 months straight of these fights before he pulled off the sweetest proposal, but I’m not sure how he snuck it in between my sobs.

  2. Wow, what an amazing husband you have! I don’t think I’d be able to handle the planning pressure either. 🙂

  3. I think you need to agree not to plan. 🙂 I mean … we don’t do anything for Valentines’ day except make cards for each other, because we agreed to do that. And it makes it SO much easier. And more fun … for us and for the kids. We weren’t naturally lovey and crafty or anything … my husband is a chemical engineer. 😉

    But maybe Darcy wouldn’t agree?

    It’s a lot of pressure when you have that kind of expectation to live up to, and you’re trying to manage chaos …

  4. Wow! What a proposal! And you guys are absolutely gorgeous on your wedding day.
    I’m rather relieved that we are not big into celebrating these holidays because the pressure to do things a certain way does have a tendency to ruin the mood.

  5. I’m nota fan either. S isn’t great at gift giving and I’m not either. Plus flowers get marked up, restaurants are hard to get into. Meh…

    Great proposal by Darcy!

    And that was the best scene of that movie, I laughed so hard when she was beating the pinata.

  6. we spent this year’s valentine’s in a kids clinic – first pediatrician visit after the hospital discharge. My hubby came home, gave a happy valentine’s kiss, and we were off 🙂

    it’s not about gifts – it’s about the connection

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