Not-Penny’s Baby Shower

How do I explain how powerful Elphaba, my friend from the North, is? Let me start with an anecdote: recently it was announced that 75% of Ontarians support In-Vitro fertilization funding. I mentioned this to Darcy and told him: It’s because of Elphaba.

Elphaba’s hilarious, imaginative tart posts detailing the misery of infertility via, uh, untraditional methods (like her essay about the heartbreaking realization that the Vampire Sims she was controlling on her laptop were more fertile than her) were immediately a game changer in the world of infertility blogs, catapaulting her to blogger fame. Once she became pregnant, a situation she handled with utmost tact and thoughtfulness, she turned warrior. A stupid Facebook game was created to raise awareness for breast cancer by advocating that members announce pregnancy cravings (even when they were not pregnant). This “game” was incredibly hurtful to the many, many 1 in 8 couples going through infertility who had to scroll through these cruel announcements. Elphaba’s response was scathing and sane: “Pretending You’re Pregnant Isn’t Cute”. That post got 190 comments and was seen 11,000 times! So now you see why I think there is an Elphaba Effect in Canada. I think she captures hearts and changes minds.

That post allowed me to come out as an infertile myself in the post I’m most proud of, leading to the other Elphaba Effect: she often transforms meek, quiet citizens into warrior princesses, ready to take on Facebook Memes or critique really, really bad television movies about scary baby snatching plots.

Elphaba will be having a daughter, which seems incredibly fitting: I can only imagine the kind of shenanigans of social justice Elphie 2 will pursue, but if she’s not the feistiest baby girl in Canada, I’ll eat my Resolve shirt.

I will be giving to Elphie two things: the first is my own feisty daughter’s favorite dress. There are magical qualities associated with this dress. Yes, it’s cute and stylish and feminine without being foofy. But this dress commands respect, charisma and feistiness. I can’t imagine anyone except my daughter or Elphie’s daughter wearing it. Secondly, in case Elphie thinks this is weird, I will also be sending a gift certificate to Baby Gap, from whence this magical garment came from.

Finally, Elphaba, I am so thrilled and happy that we are all at this point with you: that I have “met” you, that you have taught me the value of standing up for what I believe in, that you are on that magical verge of becoming a mother. I know you will be an incredible mom, and I can’t wait to follow your journey into motherhood.


Filed under Discovering joy, writing

9 responses to “Not-Penny’s Baby Shower

  1. Pingback: Not-Penny’s Baby Shower « Mommy Odyssey

  2. Aw, that dress is so cute! Great friendship you got going in this community.

  3. Such a fantastic post. You always have such a way of describing things perfectly…I love this about you. You captured what she has meant to all of us with this post.

    And what a perfect dress. 🙂

  4. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row

    I love the idea of a little Elphie, standing on a street corner next to her mom with a sign advocating “Fertility and Justice for all!”

  5. Love it and what a great idea! The dress is adorable too.

  6. Nat

    Love your post. Your analogies are so fitting. Am so glad to found another fab blog/person to read about and I enjoyed reading your bio too! 😀

  7. Jodi

    I know this is really old post but I am desperately searching for a blog post written by Elphaba many years ago called What is an infertile to do. It was one of the most important pieces of writing I have ever found and while I shared the link everywhere back then now that her blog is down I can’t find the text anywhere. I am now going infertility round two and wanted to reread it again. If you are still in touch with her can you link me to her current blog (if she has one) or ask her if she would be willing to share that post again? Thank you!

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