Mea Culpa: I Suck.

The last few posts on Prompt(ly) have left me feeling fully ashamed of myself. Rightfully so.

The ALI community is a wonderful, judgement-free place of comforting words, a refuge from those who don’t understand, a place where you should never hear words like “just relax” or “comment, more!!”.

I feel like I tried to put demands on this safe refuge. While that was not my intention, it is indeed what I did. I deserve to dwell in that knowledge for a while.

PLEASE don’t feel guilty if you think you don’t comment enough. Those in the ALI community feel enough guilt in our lives without stupid rules telling you to comment more.

I’d like to conclude with this wonderfully true statement from St. Elsewhere:

“To be fair, blogging conditioned to appeal to a certain type of readership sucks the joy out of blogging. So write like no one else is reading and respond like you really are reading.”




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19 responses to “Mea Culpa: I Suck.

  1. First, you don’t suck. It sounds to me as if you are trying to work out your expectations of other bloggers, and what is realistic. Which, in my experience, is one of the most difficult aspects of any relationship.

    I will admit to feeling a little put off by the idea that I should comment on someone’s blog just because they commented on mine. It’s not that I don’t appreciate comments. It’s just that I prefer the sentiment of the quote at the end of this post. In fact, that quote really sums up the way I’m trying to recreate myself on-line right now. I want to post because I have a need to write, and to comment when something moves me so much that I just must speak up. The rest of the time, I’m here, quietly reading. 🙂

  2. Go easy on yourself.

    My impression was that you merely wanted to remind bloggers that people who take the time to comment are doing so because they feel a connection. It makes all the difference when you reach out in return, even just once, just a nod to say thanks for taking the time to comment.

  3. You absolutely do NOT suck. AND you started a great conversation at the meta level about blogging and responding, which is getting us all to think more carefully about our relationships with our audiences.

    So there. Thanks for putting yourself out there. 🙂

  4. eep6

    Aw, don’t beat yourself up! (And you’re right, I shouldn’t be so hard on myself either) 🙂 Now I feel bad for making you feel bad about making me feel bad about… let’s just eat some cupcakes and feel good about ourselves for caring!

  5. I have been fascinated reading and watching this conversation unfold. While at first I might have felt a little guilt about not commenting enough, like I said the first time around – your post was a kick in the ass to remind me about the beauty of blogging – of creating that conversation. As I’m working to finalize my new WP design, I’m taking a lot of this into consideration, installing plugins that will increase the functionality of my commenting system so that when I do finally move over, I’ll be able to have the commenting experience I’d like that I currently can’t do in Blogger.

    I’ve also appreciated seeing how other people respond and what motivates other people to comment. The concensus seems to be that there is no ONE right way to comment and that in general, we shouldn’t try to impose that kind of standard on others. Write what pleases you. Comment on what moves you – or doesn’t move you. In fact, comment or don’t – and that’s okay too.

    I’ve appreciated your candor about this, and I don’t think you should have to apologize. You’re not a bad blogger – just honest. We can’t fault you for that. The blogosphere has been made richer by the conversation.

  6. I have followed this conversation and it has made me think about the interactions and how it can differ from person to person. Nothing wrong with that. Everyone is different. Also, nothing wrong with starting a conversation about it either.

  7. Mel

    I’ve actually love the conversation this all started. I think it’s impossible to make hard and fast rules for commenting just because people blog for such different reasons. On the other hand, I don’t think that means that we can’t have the discussion, air out our feelings about commenting or how the blogosphere works.

    • Thanks Mel 🙂

      “I think it’s impossible to make hard and fast rules for commenting just because people blog for such different reasons.”

      I think you just stated the takeaway from the whole commenting discussion.

  8. Ditto Mel.

    And you don’t suck.

  9. St. Elsewhere

    Oh Lovie,

    You did no wrong. I quite understand that you just wanted a clean discussion on it. I, for not one second, believe you were out to finger-point and play moral police. You aren’t awful, at all.

    It takes courage to talk about this. You did it.


  10. Lut C.

    You’re definitely being too hard on yourself. Given the amount of discussion on this topic, this is clearly a subject most of us have thought about – each on our own. Comparing notes is useful, if only to compare your own ideas with those of others.

  11. Pingback: Unrequited Blog Love | Too Many Fish to Fry

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