There are two phases in my life I consider to be the “glory days.”
2. Living in London with Darcy and a group of friends straight out of How I Met Your Mother.
But, I think I have been burnishing those memories too heavily.
I’m watching Undeclared on NetFlix for the first time (it is rad and you should start binge-watching it immediately if you’ve never seen it) and it has reminded me of the bad times as well as the good. There was some stuff that was terrible for me about college. I’ll be using too many bullets, just like I did in my terrible term papers. (Which I used to stay up all night writing the night before they were due. Of course.)
THINGS THAT SUCKED ABOUT COLLEGE
- Lack of Funds. Remember running out of money three weeks before the end of semester and desperately going to the student center for a job, any job? And then taking the only position available: selling roses to people at restaurants like some very tragic character out of Les Mis? “Would you like a rose, miss?” Remember eating a can of beans for dinner? Remember driving all your friends downtown to bars and drinking water so they could pay you gas money and you could eat on weekends? Remember begging people to go to the $1 Happy Hour where you could buy a coke and eat all the free tacos and chips and salsa you could before 4:30 so you didn’t have to be there by yourself?*
I forgot. I don’t miss those times at all.
- How disgusting the dorms were. I remember gearing up to use the community showers. I wore my pretty pink robe my grandmother thoughtfully sent me. I had a pretty pink plastic basket with my shampoo and conditioner from Costco, and my pink razor and soap. I wore pink flip flops. None of these trappings of civilization mattered when I entered the shower area, only to view with horror that someone had puked all over the floor. I hope that whomever the university employed to clean our dorm was very, very well paid indeed. Like, waste management salary. College kids were pigs.
- Roommates, college boyfriends and draaaammmmmaaaaa. One of my roommates was always on the phone with her boyfriend, talking in a baby voice. (Which, no judging, except I was in the room studying and had to listen to her say “But I WUV YOU more!” A lot.) She dumped him (yay!) and immediately found a new boyfriend to use her baby voice with (boo!). Then there was the agonizing time I found out a friend’s boyfriend was cheating on her. Should I not tell her and not ruin her happiness or should I tell her so she didn’t have to live a lie? Oh, the agony of that decision. (I told her. It was awful.) Then the shoe being on the other foot and a friend having to tell ME that she knew my boyfriend had cheated on me. Oh, LORDY. THE DRAMA of college guys. College guys mostly were awful, by the way, at our fine university. Don’t go to the #2 party school in the nation if you are looking for a nice young man. Duh, younger me. DUH.
- Dorm Food. It was nasty. No question. I survived mostly on the bread, which rumor had it was bulked up with extra starch so students wouldn’t eat too much of it and this would keep costs down. This tale, oft told, was probably an urban legend, but the sourdough slices did feel like lead in my stomach.
There was a lot to love, like studying at the beach, my old metabolism, my amazing friends, the beautiful campus, the good times. My old metabolism. But it’s silly for me only to remember that stuff, which is what I tend to do.
Do you tend to romanticize peroids of your life that were great? Did you love college?